Sura

It has been a long time

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 05:56:34 GMT

So basically I feel like I'm going to die. Someone congratulated me today on being single. I was not amused. I don't even know what to say here. Really I am just writing so that I won't call Erik. For 22 years all I ever wanted in life was to be in love. I had it and now the thought of it makes me sick and terrified. And I'm so sick of what everyone as to say. I know I am going to be fine, I know I'm going to be successful, I have more than enough men asking me out every night, I know I'm beautiful, I know he's a jerk, I know everything but all I want is him and I wan't to feel better.

everyone click it

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 18:09:13 GMT

Obligatory Update

Tue, 09 Mar 2004 08:43:56 GMT

Things are going alright. I have to start doing some college applications like really soon. I want ot buy heather a wedding present tomorrow and i have to go to therapy and work and call earthlink and do homework and maybe go to the gym. that is how everyday has been and its starting to suck. Im still stuck in a bad mood for the most part. i have this thing that i want to be like someone else or have someone else's great attributes or great life. i seem to always be displeased and wanting more. oh well. i guess it will pass lke everything else. i hope to go to poetry club on thursday and hopefully see cool people there. I guess i am starting to feel the overwhelming pressure of needing to create a life for myself--a nitch. I will never be a great artist, nor do i want to be i guess. but it is one, of very few things, that i value. Ive been reaching back to highschool wanting that simpler life. i had sooo many values back then. i was the democrat for the school. i created the poetry club and kept amnesty int'l alive and now i am so disinclined. I wish i was pulled by my heart still.

omg!!

Thu, 26 Feb 2004 00:24:13 GMT

I don't know how to explain this one, but this is
what your fate is. Hey, at least you're cute.

Maybe that's your fate. You're fated to be cute,
and you have good taste.

What is your Fate?
brought to you by Quizilla

I love it!!!

something maybe like this...

Wed, 11 Feb 2004 07:50:36 GMT

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By the sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
----
it's difficult not to worry about what happens next
certain looks sort out confused looks
and certain looks sport confused looks
and I watched us talking in the mirror
and you put on that look
that says this little star wishes she weren't single
it is the eye that catches me a man protesting his worth
it is the year that catches you putting the shake on your words
you are alert as a tigress at a common table with her fate
you can almost taste it
we'll be gone by morning or be together by then
and I believe every woman has made up her mind to win
----
Covered by the blind belief
That fantasies of sinful screens
Bear the facts, assume the dye
End the vows no need to lie, enjoy
Take a ride, take a shot now

Cos nobody loves me
Its true
Not like you do

Who am I, what and why
Cos all I have left is my memories of yesterday
Ohh these sour times

Cos nobody loves me
Its true
Not like you do

After time the bitter taste
Of innocence decent or race
Scattered seeds, buried lives
Mysteries of our disguise revolve
Circumstance will decide...

Arg

Thu, 05 Feb 2004 05:37:36 GMT

Damn you all for not listening to me!!!

I just slept the better half of the evening. Yeah, that was fun.

this one is way better!!!

Thu, 01 Jan 2004 01:20:20 GMT

I really love haikus!!!

Oh yeah...this looks fun

Wed, 31 Dec 2003 20:24:50 GMT

Spell your name in bands/artists

S- sigur ros
U- (I honestly cant think of one)
R- rasputina
A- assemblage 23

H- halfler trio
A- antony and the johnsons
R- radiohead
T- the cure

Have you ever had a song written about you?
Im not sure, but I have had a poem written about me.

What song makes you cry?
I have cried to songs but no song has ever made me cry. The closest is Sigur ros(just about anything they do) and pictures of you because I was listening to it when i found out my aunt had cancer and when i was driving to her funeral.

What song makes you happy?
Pavement--Carrot rope

What do you like to listen to before bed?
Current 93

Name a song by Coal Chamber
hah!

Who was/were your idol/s when you were younger?
my mom, the inventor of the toilet, as we know it, jennifer gray

First album you ever bought?
The bangles(the one with walk like an egyptian)

Sat, 20 Dec 2003 21:02:28 GMT

Just because it bothers me:

Than= a comparison. [i.e. He is older than Joe.]

Then= an indication of time. [i.e. We went to the pool and then to the park.]

Really I am not trying to be an ass and it is not directed at any one person. I have run into so many people in the last week that have misused these words that I have decided that everyone who reads this will be better off.

can you guess?

Fri, 31 Oct 2003 21:48:11 GMT

1. Are you male or female?
Sow Some Lonesome Corner So Many Flowers Bloom
2. Describe yourself:
broken chord can sing a little
3. How do people feel about you?
13 Angles Standing Guard 'Round the Side of Your Bed
4. How do you feel about yourself?
Built Then Burnt (Hurrah! hurrah!)
5. Describe your boyfriend:
Blown-Out Joy from Heaven's Mercied Hole
6. Where would you rather be?
C'mon Comeon (Loose an Endless Longing)
7. Describe what you want to be:
Triumph of Our Tired Eyes
8. Describe how you live:
Stumble Then Rise on Some Awkward Morning
9. Describe how you love:
Long March Rocket or Doomed Airliner
10. Share a few words of wisdom:
Take These Hands and Throw Them in the River

Ha ha! I win!

Tue, 28 Oct 2003 19:00:14 GMT

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
debasement goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Captain Hooker.
dawnjosie gives you 9 brown chocolate-flavoured gummy bears.
digitalpulse tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy!
dracusoara gives you 4 red orange-flavoured gummy worms.
errore gives you 3 dark blue spearmint-flavoured gummy worms.
hennahokum gives you 16 teal mint-flavoured pieces of taffy.
kezghan gives you 1 mauve tropical-flavoured hard candies.
nnoire gives you 2 white coconut-flavoured miniature candy bars.
wherethefuckare tricks you! You lose 15 pieces of candy!
debasement ends up with 17 pieces of candy.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Ow

Sat, 25 Oct 2003 20:00:51 GMT

A toothpick in the foot really doesnt feel good. Even the day after =(

Fri, 10 Oct 2003 17:57:51 GMT

So I think I am goin to get a job going soon. I figure that will give me the "security" I need. I will pick up a letter of reccomendation this weekend and hopefully get a resume together as well. Maybe that will solve everything. At least I hope so.

Oh yeah

Sat, 06 Sep 2003 18:34:42 GMT

I heard about this thing that really sucks. From now on ticketmaster is going to reserve the best seats and auction them to the highest bidders.

This was worth updating for...

Thu, 04 Sep 2003 00:58:45 GMT

<td bgcolor="#000000">Who will play you:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Janeane Garofalo </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Who will play your love interest:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Edward Norton </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Weeks you will stay in the box office:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">21</td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Song that will play during your love scene:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Kylie Minogue - Love at First Sight </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Song that will play during your death:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Scheer - Goodbye </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">Your name:</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr>

Your Life: The Movie by mintyduck

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Oh yeah!!

Sun, 29 Jun 2003 01:17:00 GMT

I am going shopping right now for someones birthday (hint hint!!!)

pretty funny

Sat, 21 Jun 2003 18:05:08 GMT

debasement
Magic Number	13
Job	Most Hated Person - Ever
Personality	The Glass Is Half-Full!
Temperament	As High As A Very High Kite
Sexual	Straight
Likely To Win	A Home Help Badge
Me - In A Word	Compassionate
Colour
Brought to you by MemeJack

Sun, 15 Jun 2003 07:10:46 GMT

[Other Voices] i Live with
Desertion - and Eight Million
People.

More often then not, you feel alone and hungry for
something with substance. Whats the point of
talking to people who will never relate?

What Cure Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

elleohelle

Sat, 14 Jun 2003 00:31:19 GMT

my fire comes from within

Hardset Head. Relationships, people, and
everything that has an effect on your emotions.
It's not about world issues, politics or
society with you. It's about what's going on
in your heart, and how you are dealing with it.
Your fire comes from within.

Which Skinny Puppy song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sat, 14 Jun 2003 00:27:30 GMT





	
	
	
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How compatible with me are YOU?

I am not so sure anymore

Mon, 09 Jun 2003 17:52:02 GMT

but how can you say you love someone you are only putting up with.

Mmmhmm...

Sun, 01 Jun 2003 09:11:24 GMT

I am so cute I blow my own mind =P

So hi again.....

Thu, 15 May 2003 04:03:15 GMT

I was down at my moms for this past weekend. It was ok. I mean nothing great. But what can I expect? I told her I was there for Mother's day but really i just had news for her. I really think i am a lesbian. I told erik and he is totaly cool with it. I wanted to tell my mom though. I mean I think she should know. But then again she might not uderstand...

I have been hiding a lot from her lately. I mean the whole "wrist cutting". Its getting old though. I used to "cut" all the time but now I want something more. Just a slit on the wrist just doesnt do it for me. Now that I have all of these new problems, coming clean with one's sexuality is tough. So I wanted to tell my mom that I am thinking of dropping out of school and moving someplace far away. Hopefully it will stop me from doing anything drastic =/ I guess that is what I am getting at in this entry. I can not live with myself anymore. As my step dad put it...I am just a "suicidal cunt"....

<3 Sura

I thought wrong

Sat, 03 May 2003 20:37:18 GMT

or maybe I didn't. I am not usually one to respond to you using this journal thing but right now I am not sure what else to do. I know that you don't have to slant things to make me sound bad and you usually don't. But this whole "happily in love thing" really tears me apart. I mean I know we are not happy and who knows if I am better but we are in love and to some extent we are happy. I don't gather that you have to pull yourself through each moment with me, forcing a smile and whatnot. I am very happily in love with you--I am not faking it, ever. Maybe you are just playing it out for your readers but I guess that just doesn't seem like you.

Anyhow, I have errands to run and such. I am not upset, more confused. Maybe we will talk about it later or maybe we wont.

♥ Sura

Disintegration

Mon, 28 Apr 2003 20:26:31 GMT

Untitled

Hopelessly drift
In the eyes of the ghost again
Down on my knees
And my hands in the air again
Pushing my face in the memory of you again
But I never know if it's real
Never know how I wanted to feel
Never quite said what I wanted to say to you
Never quite managed the words to explain to you
Never quite knew how to make them believable
And now the time has gone
Another time undone
Hopelessly fighting the devil
Futility
Feeling the monster
Climb deeper inside of me
Feeling him gnawing my heart away
Hungrily
I'll never lose this pain
Never dream of you again

_________________________________________

I guess it is just a kind of Cure day. I guess I am lonely. I wish I could have seen my therapist today, oh well. I guess I am kinda out of words--I mean there aren't really words to describe how I feel right now...

I love you so much. I just wish I could go away--make all the bad things go away. I miss you............

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	debasement
Your haiku:	am there."tell me how does one suck a fuck?"that is my cue to jump
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Created by Grahame